It has been so long since I used this site and blog that it took me 10 minutes to remember how to log in (thank goodness for Chrome passwords). In light of the time lapse, I will devote one post explaining that (if anyone cares), but the reason I decided to write today was to reflect on 2017.
2017 was no ordinary year for me personally or for the world politically. It went by extremely quickly and tumultuously, but with any year hopefully we learn and grow.
While a lot of my personal growth happened while I took an unplanned hiatus from this site to focus on personal matters, 2017 was the year I learned what being a parent and a partner means. On December 13, 2016, I became a mother to my daughter, Leah. I had dreamed of that moment for years and due to infertility, never imagined that dream would come true. The first few months of 2017 were a blur of survival and sleep deprivation for everyone, with the steepest learning curve you can imagine. But I learned that nature takes over when you need it the most, and when you least expect it.
I learned what the human body is capable of and it is a miracle, even if it has happened billions of times before.
I learned to love in ways I never imagined possible and to experience feelings that did not exist within me for 37 years.
I learned how to forgive and unconditionally love my mom, now passed 6 years.
I finally and truly learned the meaning of “every day is a gift.”
I learned that I need at least 6 hours of sleep, but preferably 8-10 or I am inpatient, angry and not my best self.
I learned that I want to be my best self.
I learned that being a parent is my most important job, however, I still love veterinary medicine.
I learned that life is about falling down and those hard times because those are the times we grow. When we get through those and view them from the other side, it makes that other side feel ever more spectacular. That is what courage and vulnerability are made of and why they allow us to truly live this life.
I learned if you truly, truly want something with all your heart and devote your resources, you can achieve IT- whatever IT is. You may fail or fall down, but know something amazing is awaiting if you continue to follow your heart and gut to the other side.
For me and my family 2017 was a culmination of beauty, miracles, and gratefulness after 3+ years of grief, anger, darkness, and uncertainty. I know the darkness will come again at some point, but now I can truly enjoy the beauty that is my life and know when it comes that it will change and shape me in ways I get to decide.
2018 will be about exploring my place in veterinary medicine and actually taking the risks I need to get there. After all, I know something majestic is waiting for me on the other side.